Wednesday, April 8, 2009

MY LITTLE MEN AND ME

It seems that this week really has been just "my little men and me". Daddy is extremely busy at work this week and has been getting home at night even later than usual. In the past I am sure I have told daddy how I feel about him getting home so late, though most of the time, even when I complain, I really do understand...its just the boys that don't! But this week I have not so much as uttered a word of disappointment...really not even just a word. I don't call daddy at work, I literally don't talk to him pretty much from the night before when we go to bed (this week he has been gone before we even are out of bed in the mornings) until the next evening when he returns from work. What is the point? I mean, I know what time he will be getting home...LATE, I know what he is doing...WORKING and even when I do call, he is "slammed"! So this week I have pretty much put my mind in "my little men and me" mode. I get out of bed, start some warm bath water, use the potty, go get MO out of bed and into the waiting bath. I then brush my teeth and hair and get dressed. I then wash MO, get him out, brush his teeth (yes I bathe MO and brush his teeth, I don't want my kid going to school stinking or having dirty teeth...daddy has just learned why I do this when he was at MO's school this past week...). Meanwhile, MC has woken up and is playing in his bed. After I get MO dressed he will go play and talk to MC while I get MS out of bed and dressed. MS is NOT a morning person so we do not wash anything of his in the mornings (unless we are going somewhere). I take care of him and MC (and myself) later in the day. I do brush MY teeth every morning though NO MATTER WHAT! Then we all head downstairs for breakfast...well at least MO for sure eats something, MS might, depending on his mood and MC usually waits till we get back from taking MO to school as do I. (SIDE NOTE) This morning was a little different though. I go to get MC out of his bed and was going to put a dry diaper on him but could smell that he was not just wet. Well "not just wet" was a understatement! He literally had S-H-I-T from the back of his head down to his butt! We were already running late, which is usual on school mornings, so I told MO that he was going to have to go downstairs and grab some muffins and some water to drink for breakfast as I was NOT going to have time to do anything for him cause I was going to have to somehow get these poopy clothes off of MC...got them off but not before he had S-H-I-T all in his hair and everywhere! Needless to say I had to throw him into the tub! So anyway, now we are back to what we usually do on every morning. After getting everyone up we will all come downstairs and whoever wants or needs to eat will and then we leave to take MO to school. We get in the car, MO calls daddy to tell him good morning and that he loves him and that he will call him again after school, MS will talk for like a sec and then we drop MO off. We are back home at about 8:05. I then feed the other two and myself and then sit to hold, cuddle, play and put to sleep MC...the ONLY thing consistent with him is his morning naps! Once he is down I then get up, do whatever exercise videos I am going to do and my weights. MC usually is awake before I am done or soon after. I then do some laundry and catch up some blogs, then if warm enough we will go for our walk and then its lunch. Some days my mom will meet me to tan at lunch, she will sit in the car with the kids while I tan. We leave to go get MO at about 240 and then "my little men and me" are back home for the day/night. The boys play, fight and then play and fight some more. Then if its nice I MAKE them go outside and play in the back if they wont go on their own. "My little men and me" will go to whatever practice we may have that day and then return home. I will make the boys dinner about 6 and we are done by about 7 and then we will just watch some tv until 8 rolls around. At 8 MO gets into bed and watches some cartoons until daddy is home which is usually pretty soon. Daddy gets home and plays and talks with MS while he eats and then goes to lay with MO until he falls asleep (at which time MS is also usually asleep if he did not accidentally fall asleep during the day) and then daddy will come back down to talk with me for a short period of time and then he too will turn in for the night. Then it leaves MC and me! MC is usually asleep by this time (9:00) so that's when I catch up on some more blogs or post on my own and before I know it the time has flown and its MIDNIGHT! I have been trying to get into bed earlier at night cause eventually this catches up with me! Then the morning rolls around and we start this all over again. Then the weekends we have game after game after game, we never slow down! ISN'T LIFE GREAT!?!? REALLY!?!? I mean, yeah, it gets so routine sometimes and you think when will I ever talk (much less anything else) with my husband again...or be around people over the age of 6 more than you aren't, but at those times is when I try to slow down and just look at MY BOYS and realize things are NOT going to be like this forever and that thought actually makes me SAD...crazy I KNOW! But one day I know I will look back at these days and think WHY WAS I WANTING ALL OF THAT TO GO BY SO FAST! I REALLY DON'T! I WANT MY BOYS TO STAY LITTLE BOYS! I WANT THEM TO WANT, LOVE and NEED MOMMY AND DADDY! I DON'T WANT THEM TO GROW UP AND FACE HARDSHIPS AND DISAPPOINTMENT THAT I KNOW THEY WILL FACE SOONER OR LATER...I know one day I am "gonna miss this"! So I try everyday not to get into a rutt and I try not to get frustrated with them (although this is a work in progress) and I try to remember that soon enough they will be GONE and that's when my husband and I will have OUR lives back. Right now I just want to enjoy my boys, I mean really just soak it all up to last me a lifetime! Cause once they are grown up and gone there is no getting what we do on an every day basis back! Everyday I say or do stuff that I wish I didn't say or do out of frustration and out of just being around kids all day long. And once the boys are all sleeping I regret some of the things I did or said. MC now knows I yell a little too much and when I do he just looks at the other two like what have yall done now. And the other two just get quite and stare at me like I have gone crazy. I am working on my yelling although don't think I will ever have it under control! I know spanking would be alot better for them and me both...I tell them this all the time, but haven't exactly followed through! I do miss my husband and about once a year we do try to get away with just us...you know, just for the evening...but we also realize this is just our life right now and I am more than ok with this. I really wouldn't have it any other way! I love the time I am getting to spend with my boys, I just hope they are loving it too! I love that I was able to stop working to stay home with my boys...but all things come with a cost! And that cost is daddy working day and night right now. We are young, our boys are young! We are just establishing ourselves, making our place in this world and I am loving every bit of it, EVEN IF AT TIMES IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT! I so know one day we will look back on THESE DAYS NOW and MISS THEM! So I want to know that I enjoyed every single one of THESE DAYS, I want to make sure I remember how hectic and chaotic or lives are now and how some days I thought I was going to go crazy listening to boys fight and my baby cry! I WANT TO REMEMBER AND LOOK BACK ON THESE DAYS AS REALLY GOOD MEMORIES! AND I WANT MY BOYS TO DO THE SAME! I love how its just me and them most of the time, its like this is not a punishment but something I will look back on and be thankful for!

DADDY, thank you for working like you do to provide us with our life and thank you mostly for allowing me to spend the amount of time I get to spend with our precious boys, this is something that I will never forget! I know there are times (more than not) that you come home from work and I am not in the best of moods but that still doesn't mean that I don't enjoy this...I know weird, but its true! This week with you being gone more than usual I have really just sat back and watched our boys...THANK YOU FOR THIS!

MOM, TERRY and BOB ~ THANK YOU ALL for allowing me and Kell and Gidg to have the lives we did as kids! I mean I still look back at my childhood and remember all the great times and ALWAYS WILL! I know it wasn't easy on any of you to do what you did then but it paid off. I look back at my childhood and remember how much fun it was, I MISS IT, I MISS YALL...I miss making father's day gifts for BOB, I miss falling asleep and my mom coming to get us in the middle of the night, I miss Christmas mornings, I MISS IT ALL and remember it ALL! I hate that Bob is a stranger to us now, I hate that my boys and husband don't know him like I did! But its ALL GOOD memories! And if my boys are able to look back at their childhood and have the memories I have then MY LIFE NOW will have paid off!

I know we will all have disagreements and not get along all the time but I just hope we all also realize that our lives now are not just OUR LIVES but our kids memories! "Your Gonna Miss This" one day...I AM GONNA MISS THIS ONE DAY!

2 comments:

Kel said...

I miss a lot of stuff too but that's just life. you grow up and do the things with your family that you remember doing as a child. I think all of our boys love there life and love us no matter what. I get frustrated and yell and spank (i do follow through) but not like it helps and 2 seconds later we r all ok again smiling and having fun. I do need to take more time with Klayton though, he does frustrate me a lot (im sure its his age and talking back) but even still I know he knows I love him and do everything I can under the sun to make him and the twins happy. she'll its just how life goes, there is nothing we can do about it so just be happy now for you and your kids and thank god for what a great HEALTHY family you have. you are a good mother and your boys love you and josh loves you..thats all that matters!

April said...

Girl, that was pretty deep. Great post though, I loved it. It hit home too, with me. I don't stay home though, I tried, it wasn't for me. It's only for special Mom's, I'm serious, I mean that in the most complimentary way too! I'm not that patient. Life does get very very routine and my husband is gone 3 days a week...GONE...out of town. I do it all by myself and I get to feeling sorry for myself about it but I'm starting to realize that it's much harder on HIM being gone than it is me having to do everything. At least I see them every single day.
I'm also trying to not let things get to my with my kids. Yes they frustrate me, yes there are times I want to run away (not really but you know what I mean) and then I think that one day they will be gone and I'll wish so bad that I could have this routine, crazy life back. I don't want them to get old. I would love to be frozen in time and for everything to stay the way it is now.
I'm glad you posted that. Really really good!
By the way...I, like your sister said she does too, SPANK!!!!
Sometimes it just feels sooooo good to whoop their little rotten BUTTS!!!!!